Archive for September, 2010

Porking Fat Girls vs Boning Skinny Chicks

September 24, 2010

My blog partner over on BiggerFatterBlog  and I, Fat Bastard have hotly debated what’s better, porking a fat girl or boning a skinny chick. Here we will debate. Our moderator is Coach Gaines. Reaerd the illustrated saltier version on Bigger Fatter Blog.

CG: Gentlemen we will be debating the virtues of porking  vs  boning. Let’s start with you Proud FA. You have porked hundreds of fat girls so tell us why you think porking is better than boning.

Proud FA: Coach, all guys want to get laid and we don’t want to have to jump through hoops to make it happen and because fat girls are often sluts and there are so many of them these days a guy can score like their was an empty net. Plus fat girls are more likely to be uninhibited.

FB: For guys like Proud FA that may be true but and it a big BUTT when you are a big fat ass like me it is not always possible to pork a fat girl and you certainly don’t want one on top. That could be dangerous!

CG: Fat Bastard makes a good point fat boys have a very difficult time getting their dick in a fat girl unless they are hung like our good buddy the Chef. How do you respond to that.

Proud FA: Coach when when skinny guys like us party we party hard, when we feed we feed hard and when we fuck we fuck hard. I’d get all bruised if I boned a skinny chick they way I used to fuck fat girls. Like they say, the bigger the cushion the better the pushin.

FB: Who wants to do all that work? Who wants to take the risk of some fat girl doing the reverse cow girl on you and breaking your legs. Even skinny guys unless they are hung like the Chef can only pork fat girls in the missionary position.

CG: Let’s ask the Chef what he thinks about that and whether he can verify that. Chef how hard is it to go doggie style on a fat girl?

The Chef: As you know the Chef is a big man with a big appetite. The Chef loves the ladies and the ladies love the Chef be the Chef ain’t got no wood for them SSBBW, God bless em so the Chef can only pontificate about porkin the BBWs with big butts. You take a pear shaped BBW with a 50+ inch Sir Mix a Lot ass and your averaged dicked man would would have a hard time poppin that coochie. Also your BBW’s like to lay on their backs while the Chef makes sweet love to them.

CG: Thank you for clearing that up Chef. Proud FA what is the absolute best part about porking a fat girl.

Proud FA:  That’s hard to say but if I were to pick one thing is would be their sluttiness. Fat girls will do anything to get the sausage. I have done things to fat girls that you wouldn;t do to barnyard animals and they loved it.

CG: Fat Bastard what is the one best thing about boning a skinny chick.

FB: As you know coach there is nothing a fat boy wants to do more than eat and thinling pussy is caviar of cunt. It’s always fresh and clean.  There is nothing like lying the tongue to a sweet fresh pussy and boy to they appreciate it. Fat girl gash is always nasty and often yeasty. My opponent Proud FA will even admit that.

CG: Proud, Fat Bastard makes a point would you agree about fat girls have rank muff?

Proud FA: A lot of them do but I think we should defer to the Chef as he does eat fat girl gash more than I do and to be fair I usually put them in a hot tub first during the feed and to get them cleaned up down there.

The Chef: It depends on how fat they are. If they are plump and thick they usually ain’t all that bad but when the become somewhere between a BBW and a SSBBW they do get more rank. The Chef has also boned skinny ladies and they always smelled really good. They are gourmet.  BBW’s and SSBBW’s sweat and fart more and they got the yeast.

CG: This question is for Fat Bastard. What’s the worst thing about boning a fat girl?

Fat Bastard: They just lay there and expect you to do all the work. I surf a lot of porn so I’d used to seeing really hot leanlings. It’s tough enough getting it up for a fat girl let alone keeping it up. Fat guys and fat girls are not all that compatible.

CG: Proud FA, what is the worst thing about boning a skinny chick?

Proud FA:  There really isn’t anything wrong once you get to boning them the problem is they have high standards. They can be real sluts in bed but getting them to bed is the problem.  Many of them want to be in a realtionship first. That’s how it was with my fiance Thinnette.

CG: Tell us about Thinnette and how she stacks up against fat girls in the sack. Fat Bastard asked me to ask you that question.

Proud FA: Wow! that puts me in a tough position but in all honesty Thinnette wins. Fat Bastard is sneaky by slipping in that question but I must say sex with Thinnette is mind blowing.  She’s very considerate and other than giving head she’s the best I have had and I have porked many many many fat girls. She’s clean smelling and I really like going down on her. It took a while getting used to having her ride me as I was never into squashing but now I love it!  She also has endurance.  Fat girls tend to get tuckered out.

CG: Chef, I’m gonna let you have the last word.  Chef what is your opinion seeing as how you have porked and boned a lot of different women of various sizes.

The Chef: The Chef has indeed made sweet love to many fine ladies so the Chef has a cerain level expertise when it comes to makin sweet love to fine ladies. However, like the Chef said, he ain’t got no wood for them SSBBWs and that was primarily the ladies that Proud FA used to pork. The Chef likes his ladies like he likes his steak; tender,  juicy, pink in the middle and a bit on the thick side. The best sex the Chef ever had was with a fine lady of color who stood about 5’6″ and weighed in at about 150 pounds with a big bootie. We both had a little of the sticky green (for medicinal purposes only as the Chef is a bit gouty in the leg) the Chef put on some Barry White, popped open a bottle of fine wine and we then made sweet love for many many hours.